outsideinroads

Life games, music, magic and all the rest. Adventures of the fringe of the fringe amongst the.. "People's Republic of Brighton and Hove"


Leave a comment

Karoo Invocation

18195008_1666432273663234_9135668202142400948_n.jpg

Home desert gives free flow to

twisting genetic

freeze frame in strange pattern space.

Bring up processing tension weight release…

Guess I came here to do this. Forgets how spikey old memories that never

happened, to you,

looping trauma patterns.

Shared together, held alone

in empty expanse,

Wider scale than eyes can, tiny details,

perfect flowers at miniaturised, shrub plant, thorns, focus.

Desire to weep, unknown difficulty, but I know I will and invoke safety in it. With all its vaguely teeming with snakey mambas, stacks of bones, its endless vast potential to be lost, this place is safe. I feel it’s gentle hum deep always, and although I am filled with age old chasmic sadness, tears lurking,

it holds firm, steady soul, parental hand in rattle boom storm.

All the stories here, although weighty and familiar, are still stories.

Karoo continues, ta ta ta, ta ta ta, train – hosho rhythm.

Silence. Wind in howls. Wide winged beings taking flight.

Depths in dust.

Connections as they are: loving, strong, essential

will come through.

Advertisements


Leave a comment

Untitled (spells on that mountain)

18118580_1664224197217375_4914579873999791144_n

A hearty mystery

to stand barefoot

on that ancient rock mountain.

10 million years, back to sand.

Vista on rolling potential

mapped on wand, found

Body Map

Sky above

Feet

Dirt

Space

No need for sense.

Senseless shift.

To trust in grounded

home space,

to wide open heartfelt greetings

Energy zoom to space,

flow smooth and strong

on this big rock,

on this bigger rock.

The tugs are tides I accept not to understand

And every Will the ocean.


Leave a comment

Heat Death

I guess my desire for you makes real time out the best option, desire like this is a grappling hook that’s no good, the polar to what we, yes, yet a sneak peek ocean wave overlapping to ultimate blank of… and all I really yearn for is… here, now, is each atom, photon that makes up everything around me, makes me, is this empty space, is that space, is … <pfft>. So much more empty space in an atom than anything. So much more. It is a blast out brain, forget experience, nothing. Is <blank> stop, white haze no experience to peace to find on the other side of Owold, is *so familiar*, my home space of yearning, my home space of desire, PAAAAAH, like transference in total continuous stream of constant craving, seen this elsewhere, and sex as in overcome with < <pfft> >. Overcome. Always was and will be in life perhaps, a stare out the window in expanse and *yearn* for it, that desert, lost, to *be it* and not just *in it*, to exist only as it, and not even then.


Leave a comment

and yet not

Doubt, holy force

centre spiral, this life with

central point in all directions, all

directions doubt. To stop

and read, encounter

words, feel

strange

strands,

never

had to

read entire

ancestry through

               colonising other’s

eyes, eyes of my forefathers

             saturated in unimaginable

disconnection grab grab

                                                             grab crab better like my family,

                                                                  like I just learned

                                                                           Gandhi did

also, in

chain

of

like Do Things Our Way but

not too much, know

place, fuck off //

territory not

all over 100 years ago

how we have shifted,

flourished, grown

and yet not,

chasm

       failure perception

Where the road

had taken us

every moment

                                                                             still

                                                                                 here.

and say No.

and remember

                                   transmutation

Hope,

Love’s wells

spring

in

 step

 we are new

  Children

     Weeping

       in the blood and

curses

of our ancestors,

we take foot

and make new

Our own methods,

Will learn

(depths, games

Nothing) from

Everywhere,

Still

acknowledge, respect, dance

only way to play with

gentle footsteps

although

                                                   loud pumping progeny

                                                        rest and grow

                                       Build new queer

                                   Future We Are

                               from nowhere direction

                                  Meet and find the others

Only when the time and stars

                                               And spells are


Leave a comment

Ticket #1

Sunset, Western Australia

A ticket to the Void.

Inhale,

Exhale.

Everybody,

Nowhere.

Home is a flicker of light on the horizon of vision,

Is a disjointed question, awkward stacks of suitcases,

Is the yearning I have to communicate to you its lack,

 

because you already know.

 

A still sad everything

in slowly emerging morning.

uncertainty in how we dovetail joint

these flickering wing shudders

life and

words that seem to resonate like

murmuration.

Joy when it occurs,

as obvious the rain is when climbing

and skidding down mossy paths

to Cybi’s Well.


Leave a comment

Mindfuck of Operation Mindfix

This may be controversial but it seems like a thing worth saying and saying clearly…. A lot of this blog by the very lovely John Higgs really resonates with me, but there’s something in it and the more or less universal adoration of it as a whole amongst the Discordians I know has left me…   surprised.. and y’know… a bit….  Well lets just say I perceive something in all of this that seems to have the potential to mellow out a really brilliant and powerful force (and a daft one) in this whole religion-joke-worldview-wtfm99-joke-religion thing. A force I personally suspect we could use more than ever.

What’s with *this*?

“It is too soon to definitively label and define, but the designer Amoeba has coined the temporarily-useful name Operation Mindfix. As he says, Operation Mindfuck is over for Discordians because it is unnecessary in the post-2016 world. From now on, the ongoing work can be considered part of Operation Mindfix.”

Operation Mindfix. Hmm…  I love getting on the self love evolution leading to world/universe wide shifts train as much as the next meditating, Aya drinking hippie – but mindfixed? Isn’t this something… else? And are these kind of platitudes the way to do it?… 

There are heavy comparisons to be made with the political and wider situation right now and the concept of Chapel Perilous (we have all been making them), and there are also comparisons to be made between the actions of the “alt right” and Operation Mindfuck.

But am I the only one thinking that to equate these things completely seems to miss so many layers of possibility, imagination and dimensionality. The most expansive and terrifying and exciting parts of these things… and the silliest and most fun ones.

Operation Mindfuck isn’t JUST to upset the powers that be, is it? Isn’t it also to free each other and ourselves. A form of persisting in folly a la Alan Watts, a form of healthy confusion, a way to make ourselves laugh and see how ridiculous it all is. Yep, it can get a lot more messed up than that too.. but are people really that free thinking and unsure they’re right just now that it’s no longer useful? Are WE ourselves, really, all the time? Are the other people you encounter? That it wouldn’t make a good part of the type of narrative construction being talked about elsewhere in the blog? Doesn’t look like it to me…….

Besides, in a chaotic world chaos may be one of our best weapons. As John himself says earlier in the blog:

“The real gut-kick is when people confidently proclaim that we should return to the pre-post-truth world, and then think about how to do that, and slowly realise that not only is it impossible but that there was no pre-post-truth world in the first place.”

There was no pre-post-truth world. And people are still looking for simple solutions. They still want those things to solve everything, to be right, to be final. And those with more power are still lying so that the solutions those people wind up going for are the things that suit those with power best, rather than the ones that are useful for people. They’re still convincing people that they are doing things for their benefit which are quite the opposite. Isn’t there… space for disruption here? Space for throwing a few of those golden apples at this wedding they so clearly “forgot” to invite us to?….

Anyhoo – some thoughts and questions, all meant with love. I could probably go on, but perhaps better not. Perhaps on numerous levels I’ve been mindfucked here… by John, by Amoeba, by myself…   who knows? I’m happy with that. Sisters, Brothers and other Siblings…   The antes may be considerably upped at present. Who knows where these next few years will take us. But I sincerely hope we keep playing with each other. And have you considered heating in this cold weather? I heard about a government funding scheme that may be able to help.


Leave a comment

Fivers and fats

Animal fats in the new fivers feels utterly rough as far as it goes. It would be much better if they didn’t have that in them. But is it a moment to remember that more or less everything manufactured under this current global capitalism is literally tainted with horrors and the deep suffering of living beings, humans and other animals, now, in the past, in the future? There’s no such thing as cruelty free living within this world as it stands. We can’t escape it by the decisions we make, but we can minimise it, and to me that seems vastly worthwhile. We may do so feeling every ache of it intimately. We can sometimes do so whilst being sanctimonious at others who haven’t made the same choices we have in an impossible circumstance, where there are no absolute winners while we live, here. Or we can do so lightly and with an open heart. We can take stands, whatever ones are right for us, that say that we’d rather live differently and will where we can and where seems right in our own process.